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Susan C.
Susan C.

Where's Susan?

Where's Susan?

I used to be a strong, confident, pretty attractive mid-30's woman...and then my husband and I  decided to leap into parenthood.  During the pregnancy, I was considered AMA (advanced maternal age)...and now at 36 I get it.  I feel it!  Don't get me wrong, I love my almost 6 month old little boy he is a blessing...but along the way I don't even recognize myself.  Please don't misunderstand, I am a good mom.  I take pride in that fact.  I care for him lovingly and I am almost too over protective, but this has lead to anxiety, xanax, and a shrink (who lets me bring my baby to the appt).  Besides being exhausted, I look in the mirror and see a completely new person.  In six months, I got my hair done professionally once...what a mistake...the hair stylist chopped off my hair and dyed it a mousy brown...another blow to my self-esteem.  I use to love my long blonde hair.  Let's not forget my new post baby body--not so good--but, the worst of it is just being tired all the time...please realize I love my son...but, I was not prepared for the life changes...so dear ladies out there...if you are expecting...be prepared!  Motherhood can be rewarding, but it also can cause low self-esteem--your role changes in life...maybe you give up a great job, you look different, and if you are like me, you have no close family or support system to assist you...So now I must say, I can't be selfish anymore--it's about my son...he's worth it...but, I won't paint a rose colored picture of motherhood at this point yet....there's always hope down the road.
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